When the Whales Sing
by J.W Black
Summary: Love can be found in the most unlikely places. For example; In a hospital, between a catatonic girl and a hot tempered werewolf who barely wants anything to do with her tragedy. But when your the only one who can heal a person, do you turn and walk away or stay with the hope she'll get better. Love isn't easy, if it was, life would be too boring and love stories uninteresting.
1. Prologe

**PART ONE**

I pull you from your tower,

take away your pain.

Show you all the beauty you possess,

if you only let yourself believe.

**PAULS POV**


	2. Chapter 1

**I feel that if Edward could change his tune about the baby in a milisecond from hating it to loving it, well so can Jacob without imprinting.**

* * *

Somehow things had turned out so that Jacob was sitting at the end of the couch, his back to the arm rest and me between his legs, my back pressed to his chest with his warm arm's around my shoulders. Our bodies seemed to mold together, fitting perfectly. I forgot how perfect and natural it felt to be in Jacob's arms. And I felt shamed that I felt so comfortable so happy in his arms when I was married and in love with Edward. But as Jacob always said, I was also in love with him too. Even now, when I was pregnant with another mans child, my heart was beating for Jacob and my baby. I wasn't keeping myself alive for Edward, I was keeping my self alive for _them_.

"You know, I've only ever really thought about having kids seriously once" I told him, my voice breathy as I gave a hiss. Feeling my son stretch inside of me. I felt Jacob go rigid behind me, but I just patted his hand to let him know I really was ok, that it was nothing.

"So what was that you were saying again about kids?" he asked, and I could tell his interest was peeked as I had never mentioned anything like this before to him.

"I only thought about having kids once. It was after out kiss on the mountain" I could feel him lean forward, his face in my hair and could swear I felt the shape of a smile against my scalp as he hummed, remembering.

"When we kissed, I saw _us. _Together. Our future, what we could have had if I chose you." He stiffened again, and I felt my own eyes begin to tear up knowing that I was hurting him, but I had to tell him. "I saw two children. A boy and girl, with tan skin and your black hair with my eyes. First we had a boy. And then a few years later, a little girl. Her name was the only thing spoken in the entire vision. We would have named her Sarah, after your mom" I told him, and I felt him shake, not with anger but with sorrow as my tears poured down my cheeks, dripping on to his arm.

"I remember her, your mom. She was the one who taught me how to cook, because god knows Charlie and Renee were hopeless in the kitchen." I laughed, wincing at the pain it shot in to my ribs. "I remember that she smelled like pine needles and apples. And when I slept over at your house, during the summers when I was with Charlie, I would always sneak in to your bed and she would always be the one to find us in the morning. Even then you were warm."

"When your mom died, I told Renee I wanted to go to Forks for the funeral, so I could be with you. I screamed and shouted, and begged for her to let me go. Because somehow in my heart, no, in my soul I knew you needed me." I sighed, leaning my head back against his shoulder. And I realized that he also smelt like pine needles, but instead of apples, he also had that hint of cinnamon to his scent. I realized, that he smelled like Christmas to me.

"I will always need you, Bells" he told me, and smiled, looking up at him. I grabbed his hand, and put it over my heart.

"I promise you, I will keep my heart beating as long as I can. For you, and only for you" I told him, tears blurring my vision, but I knew that he was smiling, his eyes sad as he kissed my hair.

"Our kids would have been so beautiful. If I had chosen you, if we had a boy. What do you think we would have named him?" I asked, sobbing gently, clutching to his arms around me as if I let go I would sink in to darkness.

"Elijah." he said immediately. "I always thought that if we ever got together and we would have a boy, I would want to name him Elijah. But I would probably have been happy with any name you chose too."

"It's a good name, I like it. Elijah." I muttered my approval.

"Sometimes, despite what this baby is doing to you, I'll pretend in my head in these moments we have alone together, that your healthy and it's my child inside you. I know it probably sounds creepy-"

"You called him a baby" I interrupted him. "That the first time you didn't call him a '_thing_'" I say, my tone hopeful, and he reached up, brushing away what remained of my tears from my cheeks.

"I hate what it's doing to you, but I also see how much you love it. And believe it or not, it's really hard for me to hate something I know is literally apart of you when I love every bit of you" He tells me and I smile weakly, wishing that I could live two lives, that I could have the life I was meant to have with Jacob, the life that I saw us having when we kissed, and the life I wanted with Edward.

"I don't think Edward will love our child. I'm afraid for the first time of him and what he might possibly do out of his grief and anger." I finally admit my worst fear out loud. "Promise me, Jake. Promise me that no matter what happens to me, that you will not hurt my baby. Because like you said, he's a part of me." I try and turn to face him, to look in his eyes.

"I don't know if I-"  
"Yes you can. I love my baby, Jake, I love him more than I even love Edward and I never thought that was possible. But I do. I cant bring myself to trust Edward anymore, but I do trust you even though I know how you feel about my son." I told him, reaching up and touching his face, letting out a breath when he leaned in to my touch. "Your so good, Jacob. So wonderful. Your not perfect, and that's what I love so much about you. Because I realized a while a go that you have just as many human flaws as I do. Well maybe not that many" I laugh lightly, and I feel my Nudger shift in my belly. It's a small little move, like he's just rolling over, but it hurts and I grit my teeth and bare it.

"Promise me, you wont let Edward hurt him. Promise me, you'll be with me when he comes in to this world, because I want you to see him, to show you that he's not a monster. And I know that your going to love him, because you love me, and because my baby is innocent." I tell him, my voice surprisingly strong as I force him to look me in the eyes.  
"That's a lot of promises, Bells. I don't know if I can keep them all, I seem to be pretty bad at promises" he chuckles darkly.

"Will you at least try?" I ask him.

"That I can do" and I feel some relief at that and turn back to lay with my back to his chest.

Suddenly I give I felt a large movement within me and I convulse in Jacobs arms, my back arching as Edward and Rosalie suddenly appear in the room as I try to hold back a scream. I feel cold hands on either side of my face and I try to break free of them. They don't feel right against my skin and I'm already so cold as it is.

"He's just stretching."

"Carlisle?" Edward said in a tense low voice.

"Right here" He said, entering the room as swiftly and silently as the rest of them. I claw at Edwards hands, trying to push him away. Nothing feels right between us anymore, even the simplest of touches I try to avoid and I feel ashamed. He's my husband, I love him, I shouldn't feel that way but I do.

"It's okay" I tell them, still breathing hard and shallow. "I think it's over. Poor kid doesnt have enough room, that's all. He's getting so big" I smile, rubbing my stomach gently with love. Behind me I feel Jacob tighten is arms around me, and I pat his arm, knowing he's worried about me like everyone else.

"You know, Jake, he kind of reminds me of you," I tell him, leaning my head back against him to look in his eyes, my voice holding nothing but adoration for my child.

"How do you mean?" He asks, through gritted teeth, and I know that he's trying right now because he wasn't he would have snapped at me for comparing him to my child.

"Your growth spurt. You shot right up. I could watch you getting taller by the minute. He's like that, too. Growing so fast" I frown at his expression, and then gasp when he moves his arm around me to place his hand on my stomach.

"So your like me, huh?" And he's not talking to me, but the baby, and the mere fact he's acknowledging my child brings fresh tears to my eyes. Not even Edward had ever touched my stomach, to feel our child.

"But you gotta try to stop moving. She's not like you and me, her body isn't as strong, and she cant heal. You gotta try to stay still in there ok? For your mom who loves you so much, she would give up everything for you." I look to everyone in the room and their stunned expression's match mine. "If you really aren't a monster, if your as good as your mom thinks you are, you have to try. Because if you are really anything like me, even just a little, then please love her as much I do enough not to hurt her anymore." I put my hand over Jacobs, and smile. This is the happiest I've been since finding out I was pregnant. I don't even notice when Edward leaves the room.

"Hmm," Carlisle murmured. I looked up, but his eyes were on Jacob, who hand still laid splayed across my stomach, his warm seeping through my clothes and in to my skin.

"What is it, Carlisle?" I ask him, breathing returning to normal as I relax back against Jacob.

"I've been wondering about the fetus's-"  
"The baby, not the fetus, the baby. It's a baby" Rose grinds her teeth, annoyed.

"Yes, well I was wondering about _his _chromosomes." He says, still looking at Jacob, speaking more to him than me.

"What of it?" Jacob asks.

"Well, taking your similarities into consideration; the accelerated growth, and the fact that Alice can not see either of you, I was wondering it that means we have the answer. If the similarities of gene-deep" I'm trying to listen, to focus and try to understand what he's saying, but I'm just so tired and I feel my eyes grow heavy as lull my head back against Jacob's chest. I feel a blanket draped over me, and I snuggle back in to Jacob. Soon my eyes are closing completely and Carlisle's voice seems to become a whisper. And then I'm out like a light.

_I'm outside, and the sun is shining. I look down and see that my feet are bare and then I hear laughter. Looking up, I see a little boy with brown hair and brown eyes, his skin has the smallest tan to it and he's waving at me in the distance. I know right away who he is. He's my son._

_I wave back, a sudden sense of giddiness coming over me and then I'm running to him. Within seconds I'm by his side, picking him up in my arms and pressing out foreheads together, out matching eyes staring into each other as me smile and a laugh._

"_Let's play, Mommy" he says, his eyes bright and smile wide._

"_Okay. What do you want to play?" I ask him, putting him back down and realize he's barefoot too._

"_Let's play tag. Your it!" and then he's running and laughing all the while. He's fast, close to vampire speed, but when I chase after him, I realize I'm just as fast. I give out a joyous laugh. This was incredible. The speed, the pounding of my heart inside my chest, it's all so wonderful. _

"_Come on, mommy, you have to be faster then that!" my son shouts at me from ahead, looking over his shoulder at me, the sun shining through the tree's of the forest, making him glow. I smile and run harder, trying to catch up to my little speedster. In the corner of my eye, I see something running through the tree's beside me and when I turn to see what it is I smile even bigger than I already was._

_"Jacob!" he's phases, his russet fur catching the light of the sun. He gives a bark, his eyes meeting mine and I feel a sense of wholeness as I chase after my son. This all felt so right, so perfect._

"_No fair, Mommy, no tag team!" my sons shouts at me, his mouth turned down in a pout and I notice that like mine, his bottom lip is just slightly fuller. I just laugh, and Jacob gives a bark that sounds like a laugh. _

_Jacob runs ahead, trying to cut him off, but my baby evades, jumping to the tree's even before coming back down. He's smiling and giggling as Jacob chases him, his cheeks flushed from running, and I think that he is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. He's perfect. My angel. Finally Jacob catches him by the back of his jacket, lifting him off the ground and my son is giggling like crazy now. And now that he's caught Jacob, turns around to take him to me, but then he freezes, and I see someone standing a few feet behind them._

_"Edward?" He looks furious._

_Jacob puts down my son and nudges him in the back in my direction, telling him to come to me. He looks unsure at first, but then he's running to me, and I'm holding him in my arms again as I look to Edward, confused. I shudder as I notice the terrible way he's looking at our baby, like he's ready to kill him and I find myself taking a step back. Jacob looks at me, his eyes an order to run, but I shake my head, I wont leave him. I don't know what's wrong but I cant let the two fight._

"_How can you stand it? It's a monster! An abomination that shouldn't even exist!" Edward is shouting __at Jacob and pointing to our son in my arms. I press my son to my shoulder, his ear against my heart while my hand covers the other. He should hear this. _

"_Edward, please-" I beg him to calm down. This isn't him, this isn't my husband or the man I love at all._

"_And you, how could you leave me for this mutt. You chose me, you married me, made vows to me. Forever remember?" I look away, unable to meet his eyes._

_"I wont abandon my son for you Edward. I do love you, but I love our child more. I have to think what's best for him. And a father that hates him is not in his best interest to be around. At least Jacob's there, he accepts him, cares about him." and then I'm moving into a defensive position, clutching my child tightly to me, both ready to defend and run._

"_That thing has brainwashed you, it's a monster, nothing more. It shouldn't exist. It should never have been born." And then he lunges, but Jacobs there to intercept him and the two are fighting, trying to kill the other._

_"DADDY!"my son cry's in my arms, and I don't know which one he's calling for._

I woke up with a scream my arms coming up to grasp the child in my arms that wasn't there anymore. Rosalie was at my side right away, but I didn't notice them right away. When I realized that I was awake my hands went to my stomach and I leaned back, trying to catch my breath. There wasn't a single stir from inside, surprising me. Could he really have understood what Jacob had said? I wasn't sure, but I felt really great, better than I had in a long while.

"It was just a bad dream" I told them, sitting up with some help from Rosalie.

"Where's, Jake?" I ask right away.

"He's out trying to see if it's clear for us to go hunting?" Jasper answered.

"I'm thirsty-" I barely got the words out of my mouth before Rosalie was gone and back with a cup of blood.

"Thanks, but I actually want water instead" I tell her and her face falls.

"I'll get it for you, Bella" Esme offers this time. By the time she's back and is handing me the glass of water Jacob is walking in. I feel my whole person relax as I smile at him.

"Hey you," I greet him, and he seems relieved when he notices that I'm drinking water instead of blood.

"Hey, your looking better" he says, sounding almost surprised as he comes over to sit next to me, walking right past Edward. Taking a seat he drapes his arm around my shoulders and I reflexively lean in to him. I seem to be feeling more cold then hot these days.

"I'm feeling better. I think he listened to you, I haven't felt him move at all since" I tell Jacob, gesturing to my stomach and once more am surprised when he rest his hand on it.

"Thanks, buddy" He smiles, looking to be stomach, his hand moving in a gentle circle. "Try to keep it up"

"What-?" I looked to Edward confused. He was staring at my stomach. "The fetus," I frown. Hating that he cant even call his own son a baby. "It likes the sound of your voices." Edward suddenly says, and I smile, putting my hand over Jacobs.

"You can hear him?" I ask him, my voice small and amazed. Edward nods, looking horrified and I frown.

"What's he thinking now?" I ask excited.

"He or she, whatever _it_ is-" I glare at him, so does Rosalie, and to my astonishment even Jacob lets out a growl. "It's _happy,_" Edward says, his voice a tone of disgust.

My breath catches, as big fat tears overflowed from my eyes and ran silently down my face over my smiling lips. And still Edward kept that terribly disgusted and horrified expression. When I looked to Jacob, he looked the way Edward was supposed to look right now. He wasn't angry or disgusted. He was marveling at me, smiling _my _smile as he kept his hand where it was on my stomach, feeling the baby's heartbeat.

"Of course your happy, buddy. With a mom like yours, why wouldn't you be?" Jacob practically crooned, and I was ecstatic to see him like this, rubbing my stomach while the tears continued to flow from my eyes.

"How could he not be happy. All safe and warm and loved? I love you so much, my little Elijah, of course your happy"

"What did you call it?" Edward snarled, and I flinched from not just his voice but because the baby suddenly gave a kick against Jacobs hands who turned and snarled right back at Edward.

"You startled him you, asshole! He's been trying to stay still and you scared him!" Jacob says.

"You damn traitor. I was counting on you, counting on you to hate it more than me. To be on my side!" Edward snarled at Jacob.

"I have only been on Bella's side. Unlike you, i'm trying to see things her way. to understand so I don't _lose_ her like you are" Edward ignored him and turned his black gaze on me.

"What did you just call _it_?" Edward asks again, his voice lower now.

"He's not an _it, _Edward, he is your son and his name is Elijah." I tell him.

"You gave it the name you would have given yours and the mutts son!?" Edward said through carefully clenched teeth.

"Elijah. It's a good name" It was Esme who said it, smiling, trying to calm the situation with her gentle demeanor.

"He loves you, he loves _both _of you!" Edward says, looking between me and Jacob. "But he absolutely adores you, Bella" He tell me, but is horrible expression never changes and I know that no matter how much my child loves me, Edward will never love it. In that moment, I am assured that he will never accept the child he helped create.

"He loves me?" Jacob asks, bewildered, looking to where his hand was, and I see a gleam of tears in his eyes. This baby might not be his, but I know that Jacob will care for him in a way Edward cant bring himself to.

"Of course he does, Jake. How could he not?" I tell him, pressing my head close to his. And in that moment it felt like we were the only two people in the world. As long as Edward hated our child, we could never be together again. It hurt. But I at least had Jacob and my baby.

"Do you have a back up plan" Rosalie asked, with the same wondering, gloating look on her face as Bella's. "What if he's a she?"

"Vanessa" I tell her, wiping the tears from my face with the back of my hand.

"It's beautiful." Rosalie says, and a silence falls over the room before Jacob speaks.

"We went halfway to Seattle. There's no sign of the pack. Your good to go." He tells Carlisle, taking his hand back and I notice Edward glowering at Jacob. I roll my eyes. It's not like he's been very supporting.

"Thank you, Jacob. This is good timing. There's much that we need" His black eyes flickered to the cup of blood that Rosalie forgot to take away.

"Honestly, I think your safe to take more than three. I'm pretty positive that Sam is concentrating on La Push" I watched Carlisle nod in agreement and I took another sip of my water.

"If you think so. Alice, Esme, Jasper and I will go. Then Alice can take Emmett and Rosa-"

"Not a chance," Rosalie hissed. "Emmett can go with you now."

"You should hunt," Carlisle said in a gentle voice.

His tone didn't soften hers. "I'll hunt when _he _does," she growled, jerking her head toward Edward and then flipping her hair back.

"Go, Edward, you should hunt" I told him, not looking at him. "I want you to go" there was hurt in his eyes when I finally looked ups at him.

"I-You've been different lately, you scare me the way you talk about our child. I cant be around you when I know how much you hate your own son. It's breaking my heart. I need space from you, time to think about-"

"Think bout what love?" Edward says, his mood changing as rabidly as it had when I first met him.

"About us," I tell him, and the hurt in his eyes is too much. I know it's sudden, and I should have waited to say it when we were alone, but I just felt a sudden need to be away from him.

"Please, just please go with them. Jacob said it was safe. Rose can stay and when you get back she can go and hunt with Emmett or Alice. Just please leave" I didn't mean to be so harsh, and I feel the sting of tears in my eyes as I try my best to keep myself together.

"I understand. I think maybe I should think about things as well" And then in a flash he was downstairs with Jasper and Emmett. After looking at me for a little while, Esme joined them.

"He'll take this chance to go to Denali. You can stop him, Bella. I don't know when he'll decide to comeback, you can work it out. But if you don't-" Alice told me.

"Sometimes, love just isn't enough I guess. I always thought it would be though, but no matter how much I love him, he'll never love our son the way he deserves to be loved by his father. We both need time apart" I tell her, her faces contorts in a painful expression.

"I cant see your future anymore. I dont know if it's because of the fetus, or because of the choice your making, but I cant see you anymore" I nod, understanding. Then she's gone.

"Bella, what ever you choose to do in the future, what ever happens between you and Edward. You will always be our daughter" I smile at Carlisle weakly.  
"Thank you, Carlisle."

"Thank you, Jacob" Carlisle turns to him. I watch as his eyes follow them as they flew across the lawn and then disappeared before any of us could take another breath. There hunger was worst than I thought.

"Do you think we could go outside. I could really use some fresh air?" I ask Rosalie, pleading with my eyes.

"No. you shouldn't me moving"

"I feel fine, stronger. Please, I need this" I beg her but it's obvious she isn't going to let up.

"It's not like she's going on a jog, just let her sit outside on the porch." Jacob tries, and I look at him, beaming.

"Fine." Rosalie spits out. While Rosalie helps me up, Jacob grabs an arm chair to carry out so I can sit more comfortably.

"The weather's sunny today, those vamps are probably sparkling like diamonds right now" Jacob chortles as he walks in front of us to the back of the house. When we got out I smiled at Leah, waving shyly knowing how she felt about me. Jacob put the chair down and gave Leah a warning look. Rosalie helped me sit, and Jacob took a seat by my legs while Rose continued to stand, eying Leah warily.

"So what the hell, your just going to play daddy to that thing now!" Leah growls and I flinch.

"He's not what we thought. What I thought. He loves Bella, Edward could read his thoughts. He actually likes me too, I don't know why, I haven't exactly given him a reason to. But Edward said he does" Jacob tells her, his voice strong and sure, and I don't deserve him.

"What about the leach, he's the real father. He doesn't have a problem with you moving in on his wife and kid?" She asks and I flinch again. Jacob puts a warm and comforting hand on my knee.

"He's gone, and we don't know when he's coming back. But it's obvious that he's come to hate the baby even more then I did. It's not safe for him to be around." Leah then turns to me.

"You cant tell me that you wont run back to him if he comes back, just like last time?" I stare her down.

"I have to think about what's best for my son." I tell her. "Jacob has been great, he's at least trying to accept my baby. And my son loves him already." I smile at Jacob, who smiles right back. "Edward scares his own child. I will not have him around my son when he thinks his child is a monster. And I don't think he will ever think otherwise or stop hating him"

"You'll just break his heart again, I know it! It will never be enough for you, Jacob will never be enough for you, even though he is willing to be whatever you want him to be. He has no choice. For him it's always been you, before and after he phased you have been the center of his world, the only thing that had ever mattered to him was you!" She started to step closer to the porch, and Jacob, stood ready to get in between us. And I don't know where it came from, but I was suddenly standing, walking down the steps to stand in front of Leah.

"Do you know why I never chose, Jacob? Even after I admitted to my self I was in love with him, and still am. It's because of you!" I told her, one hand on my stomach as Rose and Jacob came to stand near us, Rose growling as Leah as she tried to get me to come back and sit down.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"One of the reasons I didn't choose Jacob is because if he imprinted I'm not as strong as you to survive it." I told her. "It would kill me if he left me for another woman, even now I'm terrified of the chance. But at least I will have my son to keep me going. But I'm scared I'll become like you, Leah" I told her, not breaking our eye contact.

"Your right to be afraid. But now you have to decide if choosing him now, and taking the risk that he might imprint one day will be worth the years you could have together before then. Plus, there is always the chance he will never imprint." Leah shrugged at the end, seeming to calm down.

"I'm willing to take that risk" I tell her, reaching for Jacobs hand and lacing our fingers together.

"You better be sure, don't just lead him on like before." Leah warns me. And as I stand there, pregnant with another mans child, I prat that this all happened for a reason. That I didn't make a mistake when I chose Edward over Jacob. I felt like a bitch for going back and forth, but I had only myself to blame.

"I wont. Not this time. I've put him through so much as it is. But I don't regret it. I have to believe everything up to this point happened for a reason...it's the only way I can live with the choices I made" I told her, ashamed of myself, but determined to move on from this point, with Jacob.

* * *

**Like I said at the top. I feel that if Jacob really took the time and made an effort maybe he would have brought himself to tolerate the baby that was hurting Bella before it was born. And i've always hated how Edward just changed his tune about a baby he so adamantly hated and wanted to terminate just because he heard it's thoughts. It sickened me when he suddenly became so concerned about it when Bella accidently startled him when Edward told her he could read the baby's thoughts.**

** So if Edward could do it, Jacob is just as much of a man to do it to out of his love for Bella.**

**Review and let me know what you think.  
**


	3. Chapter 2

By the time we got to the hospital with Charlie, Billy and Jacob, Sam told us that Bella was already in surgery. He sat there in the waiting area, his head in his hands and me and Jared knew that he felt guilty for not getting to Bella in time. What he saw, what we all saw would forever be imprinted in our minds, haunting us.

"Sam, go home, be with Emily. Jared and I will take shifts here and call you to let you know when she gets out of surgery and how she is. Don't torture yourself over this" I sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder. I was tired and aggravated, the atmosphere was depressing as it was without Sam's damn self loathing.

He looked at me unsure. I rolled my eyes. He had such little faith in me sometimes it was insulting.

"I'll keep a lid on my temper. I doubt there is anything in this hospital besides you that will piss me off enough to phase" I told him, reclining back in the cold plastic chair. Running a hand over my short hair I sighed.

"I know how you feel about Bella, I don't want to take the chance-"

"Fuck, Sam, have some god damn faith in me. Sure I hate the leach lover, but I think she's had it bad enough. I'm not going to do anything to her in a god damn hospital" I said, my hands gripping my knees so hard my knuckles began to turn white. Remarkably I kept myself under control, not giving a single shudder or shake of fury.

"Are you sure you can handle it?"

"Yes, oh mighty Alpha, I can handle it." again, I rolled my eyes at Sam's lack of trust in me.

He stared at me for a long while before finally giving a sigh of defeat and stood up from his seat, running a hand down his face. He looked tired and I knew seeing the leach lover all bloody and cut up brought some pretty shitty memories up about when he hurt Emily.

"Alright. I'll go. I'll leave it to you and Jared to decide what shifts you take and call me to let me know about any updates on Bella" he says before walking over to Charlie, who was sitting closest to the operating area so he was they wouldn't have to search for him. He hadn't spoken, just sat, pulling at his hair crying. I had met the Chief of Police before, and half of the time's I met him I was in the back of his cruiser for one thing or another. That was before I phased and Sam forced me to get my act together. It kind of helped after finding out that because of our unnaturally high body heat alcohol burned right out of our system, so we couldn't get drunk. It took away almost all of my fun, and lessened my chances of doing some dumb shit under the influence. Though I still messed around with girls. Being a werewolf actually increased my chances of getting laid after the growth spurt and instant abs.

"I hope you don't mind, Charlie, but I'm going to head home. By boys will stay here and left me know how the surgery went, and I'll be back tomorrow...I'm sorry I couldn't get to her sooner" Charlie just nods, his head down with his fingers in his hair.

"You did what you could, Sam, without you that girl might not even be alive right now. We'll be ok for tonight, I know Charlie cant say it right now, so I will. Thank you" Billy told him, and Sam gave a solemn nod.

I know the situation was dire, but fuck was he depressing. The guy was always so stiff, he barely ever relaxed and it showed. But then again, he had the most responsibility on his shoulders and didn't have much time to relax. Sometimes I forgot, and now I felt like shit. No matter how much we split up the work and patrols, we never even had time to rest anymore. I never even got to finish high school, by the time I phased it was my senior year and I was to volatile to take the chance of going back and not getting upset by a teacher of someone else and phasing. If I thought my mom and dad were disappointed in me before from my fighting and drinking, then they were heart broken when I dropped out of school.

Jared and I both said quick goodbyes to Sam before watching his back as he left. When I looked back up at Jared across of me I noticed for the first time how pale he had become. Seeing that much blood come out of such a little thing like Swan could mess any one up. "There was so much damn blood, even more than Emily. Oh god, Paul"

"Go home, Jared, I'll stay the night and you can take my place in the morning. It's obvious you and Sam are in no shape to stay." Jared looked up at me with surprised wide eyes before his brows furrowed with confusion.

"How can you be so calm. You were there, you saw her up close yourself. How can you not be phased by it at all? Doesn't it bother you?" I looked at his sharply, glaring at him.  
"Of course it does. I'm pissed that leach left her out there, I'm pissed that we couldn't get to her sooner, that we couldn't protect her. I still have her blood on my hands, and that's all I seem to be able to see. Red, blood red, everywhere. Her screams still echo in my ears. But if I don't try to push it back, try to not let it bother me as much as it does I'll end up phasing right here in the hospital" I said, feeling my chest rumble with a growl fighting to escape.

"Then maybe I should stay instead." I shook my head.  
"I'll be fine" I grumbled, annoyed that now even Jared was doubting my control. "I can handle it."

"All right, bro, I trust you. Take care of yourself and I'll see you later" he tells me, patting me on the shoulder before making his exit.

Reclining in the seat, my long legs stretched out in front of me, I tilt my head back and look up at the white ceiling. Maybe if I stare at it long enough the red that haunts my sight will fade to white. To keep my temper under control until my aggression passed I took deep and even breaths. I tried to get my head around the fact an animal had done this to to Swan and not a vampire. Was he trying to kill her off without biting her? Is that why he left her out there? That way he wouldn't technically breaking the treaty. The more I though, the more tired I seem to become until I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

I wasn't sure how long I had fallen asleep, but when I did it was right in time as the doctor came out to talk to Charlie, I would have to wait and listen to know if he was just updating him on her condition or if the surgery was over. It turned out to be the latter.

"Her heart stopped beating for two minutes during the surgery do to a punctured lung and suffocation from her partially severed larynx and trachea. We were able to clear open her throat and resuscitate her successfully. She is now stable." Charlie gave a shuddering breath, tears streaming down his face. "Her injuries were immense and along with her leg, two of her ribs were fractured and another three broken on the same side. The damage done to her back reached to her muscle, damaging some nerves." fuck, this girl was just a complete mess. My fists balled and my body started to shake as I breathe through my teeth as I continued to listen. What else could be wrong with her?

"She also received deep cuts from the lions claws across the throat, we were able to repair what we could of her larynx and vocal chords. It will be a long time until she can speak again, if ever. But we can increase the chances with speech therapy. It's a miracle that the claws didn't nick the arteries in her neck." I wanted to punch a wall. She wont be able to talk. She'll be a mute? This is all so wrong, so unfair. The doctor seemed to stop, letting Charlie absorb what he already said before continuing.

"She'll also need heavy amount of physical therapy. Her lacerations are severe and she will have scars for the rest of her life. We're going to take a few x-rays and then we'll set her up in a room. You'll be able to see her very soon" Charlie nodded, thanking the doctor before he walked back in to the E.R.

"She's strong, Charlie, and you heard the doctor. She's stable. She'll get through this, and so will you" Billy told him patting his back.

Getting up, I went to find a phone to call Sam and Jared to update them on Swan. After my call and I left the hospital to phase and go on a run to blow off steam and destroy some shit. I was proud of myself for holding it in at least that long.

Not even a full day after the surgery, Swans mother showed up just when the doctor announced that Swan had fallen in to a coma. She could wake up in a few days, weeks or maybe next year. Charlie and Renee barely left her side, and they also barely stopped arguing. Renee wanted to transfer Swan to a hospital in Florida and Charlie would not have it. He had taken vacation time off to be with his daughter, and he blamed himself for letting Swan fall in so deep with the leach. He had missed so much of his own daughters life, that when she needed him now the most, he was not letting her be stolen away from him again.

Swans room was filled with flowers, balloons and get well cards from her friends from school. Three of them visited frequently. A nice girl named Angela, a bitchy girl named Jessica, and some douche-bag named Mike. But the fact is they were all there, using there free time and weekends to come and visit her and that said something about them.

Sam, Jared and I took turns visiting her as well, feeling a sense of obligation to watch after her since we didn't get to her in time. If we had, she wouldn't be in the hospital in the first place, but it wasn't completely out fault either. That leach should never have taken her so far in to the forest. If he ever came back, I would kill him myself. He may not have bitten her, but he he was still at fault for her injuries.

Two weeks passed and there was still no change in Swan's condition. She laid there in her hospital bed like a mummified sleeping beauty, wrapped in gauze every where and her leg in a cast with a tube down her throat to help her breath while her trachea and larynx healed. The heart monitor beeped, even and in time.

Whenever I saw her I couldn't decide if I should be pissed at her for bringing this on herself by associating and dating a leach, or pity her. Today was my turn to stay with her. Charlie had been staying with Billy while Swan was in the hospital, unable to go home knowing his daughter wasn't going to be there. The poor guy was an absolute mess from what I heard. I think any parent would be.

Entering Swan's hospital room I move straight to the chair near her bed, dropping myself in to the seat and propping my feet on the edge of the bed and turned on the television in the top corner of the room. Not like she was watching it herself. Awesome, there was a Harry Potter marathon on. I don't care what any one said Harry Potter was the shit. I don't think there is a person within my generation who doesn't like Harry Potter. It's the only book series that I've ever read. I have all the books and movies at home. I was a proud fan. Plus chicks dig that stuff.

I didn't even realize until half way through the second film that I had stretched out my arm to rest my wrist on the bed, my fingers twiddling with a lock of Swans hair. The moment I became conscious of what I was doing I snatched my hand back as if her hair had caught fire and had burned me. Taking my hand back I flexed my fingers. There was a pleasant ache in the joints of my knuckles and my finger tips tingled. What the hell?

Cracking my knuckles, I dropped my hand back down to my lap, my fingers still tingling. It felt like electricity was running through my bones and muscles up my arm, tensing and relaxing, over and over again. I suddenly felt fidgety, restless and anxious as if there was a part of me waiting for something with expectation. What it was waiting for I had no idea.

Another week passed and I was switching shifts with Sam when Swan started to choke. She was waking up, the tube in her throat setting off her gag reflex as she started to wake. Sam pressed the button to call a nurse and leaned over Bella, taking her face in his hands and forcing her to look at him. "Bella, you have to calm down. Your throat was injured, you needed the tube to breath. You'll choke if you don't calm down" he told her, smoothing back her hair. "Shh, that it. Your ok, your safe, shh" he calmed her down, guilt in his eyes as he tried to keep himself calm and comforting. Her eyes shifted in her skull, looking around wildly, and then they fell on me and stayed there.

Warm brown eyes stared into my own dull gray. The entire room, the world, it fades to black and she is the only light that I can see. Everything I care about, my parents, the pack, it all fades away and she the only thing I care about anymore. Gravity shifts, and the steal cables attaching me to her is the only thing keeping me from drifting in to oblivion. I'm grounded by her very soul and I feel a fire run through me, melting my bones until I'm nothing but jelly and fall to my knee's by the side of the bed. I stay that way, on my knee's just looking in to the endless depths of her eyes that I swear hold the entire universe in them. I saw everything that could be with her, what it would be like, would it would mean. Brother, friend, lover. What ever she wanted I would be, I was hers. It wasn't until the doctors and nurses rush in to the room did I returned to reality.

"Paul, did you just-" I run before Sam can even say the fucking word.

I couldn't believe this. Why her? Why, why, why, why? This is so fucked up. I didn't want this! This wasn't right. It couldn't be right. The spirits fucked up on this one.

I ran from the hospital, making a bee line straight for the forest. The moment I was in the thicket I phased. I cursed when I found being a wolf only made it fucking worse. All I could see was her, I snarled as I ran. She was the only thing my minds eye could register. All I saw was her, in the pas, the present and the future. I remembered when she lay cold and covered in blood on the forest floor, when I touched her hair and it set me on fire, when she looked in to my eyes. I saw her on the beach, with the sun on her skin and salty air blowing through her hair, smiling shyly at me. I saw and heard what I imagined her laugh as she ran from me in the forest, chasing her as a wolf, holding her hand, kissing her. I howled, and phased back, gripping my head in my hands. I didn't want to see, I didn't want her. Not the leach lover who called out for the brick who left her as she lay dying, who's heart had stopped beating because he had left her. I didn't want to think about her. I didn't want to _want _her. My choice, my _life_ had been stolen and tied to hers now.

But I would fight it, to retain my free will, I would fight the imprint. No one decided my fate but me. It was my soul to give away. The spirits may have given away the soul of my wolf, but they hadn't touched that of the man.

"Paul" I heard Sam come up behind me, no doubt having ran after me to make sure I was ok.

"Before you ask, no I am not ok. This fucking sucks, and I'm not going to accept it. I'll fight this" I told him and I listened as he sighed.

"You think you can fight harder than I did? Because I fought tooth and nail against mine, but in the end, her soul will always call to yours. Haunting you until you give in because you know you'll be happy with her, because she balances you and that what we need. Balance." of course he would fucking know. After he imprinted on Emily he researched everything about imprinting, trying to find a way to break it. "You don't love her now, but you will. It wont take long, Paul, and it's easier to just open your arms to it. It might be better for the _both _of you if you do" I heard him drop what I imagined was a pair of shorts and a shirt since I just destroyed the clothes I had been wearing and walked away, giving me space and time to think.

I needed to clear my head and take out my frustrations, but as a human. And that meant there was only one place for me to go to do that. A-Ka-Lat. Also known as James Island.

The island was the resting place of the previous chiefs of our tribe, the island and land having been passed down to current chief; Billy Black. Their was a dip in the island separating the larger, horse shoe part of the island from the hill top that was the resting place of the chiefs. Once, long, long ago, their used to be a village on top of the island, a fortress. It was our tribes greatest defends against raids from the Makah's who would paddle down from Neah Bay. It was then after used for a garden in growing potatoes and other root crops. It's also a place believed to hold grate spiritual power.

When I was fifteen and before I phased, I had gotten drunk and my some unexplainable means woke up on the island the next morning alone. I remember finding bits of remains from the previous village that once stood so proudly, and an idea had come to me. Picking up a stick I drew in the ground a design for a house. The next day, I borrowed some of my dads equipment, and went back to the island, cutting down some tree's for space to make the house and for lumber to build it.

The place called to me, it felt like home and gave me a sense of peace that I hadn't felt in a very long time. I worked and worked, and than the day came when Sam phased and appeared at my haven. Billy had told him that the island was his to go to for peace and solitude. Where he could escape from their duties as the tribes protector and just be _men. _The invitation was opened to all wolves. When Sam found me, sawing away he said nothing at first, instead he picked up a piece of wood, a hammer and nail, and started to help. I didn't stop him. At seventeen I phased and joined Sam, creating a pack of two. Barely a year later Jared followed. After five years, and the joint effort of the three of us the house was nearly done. The biggest issue was the plumbing and electricity. There were permits that we needed to get and with the help of the tribe things that we couldn't pay out of our pocket was taken care of through the council. They thought that it was good for the pack to have a place to go to relax on their days off. Healthy for us. Other than the pack, the island was closed off from everyone else.

Most of the furniture was made Sam, and we had a few old sofa's and mattresses that were donated. And we kept it stocked with non perishable foods for when we were hungry. A few windows needed to be put in and then it was done. Sam had started working on a second house already, told us it was good way to get out our aggression without having to phase. After all, their was enough room for a small village on the island, so a few more houses would fit next door no problem. The house he was currently working on was for his Imprint Emily. They had a house of course of the main land, so now anything we built was more or less for recreational purposes. It was like our own private paradise. If we kept it up, we could make our own vacation spot. There was even a beach on the island. Sam and Billy had the hope that one day we could make it a place for our children to come to, and a place for the next pack to find homage.

I pulled on the clothes that Sam had left me and made my way back to the hospital to get my truck. As I got back to the hospital I could feel the pull to go in, to be with her, but I fought it and drove away. I need time, I needed to think more about this.


	4. Chapter 3

I had been on the island for three days before I heard Sam's howl signaling for me to come back. I did so begrudgingly.

Staying away had been the hardest thing I have ever endured. It was like a whole had been punched in my chest and I had to constantly stop what I was doing to catch my breath. Even as I worked, all I could see was her weathered, face and her damn eyes. She was like some god damn ghost haunting me. It hurt being away, and I tried not to imagine what I might be doing to her. Emily had never told Sam what it was like for her when he was fighting the imprint. It's what got him so mad that he phased and hurt her. But the scars Emily has are nothing compared to the ones that Swan would have.

"Go to the hospital, see her" Sam said, waiting for me at the dock as I pulled the boat in.

"What's happened? Is she ok!" I asked panicked, the instincts of the imprint coming to the surface as I jumped out of the boat. Most of the time I could just walk across the sandbar when the time was low, but the other half of the time we could usually canoe over. We used the bigger boat when we were bringing supplies across to the island.

"She's awake, but she's not doing so good. You need to go to her, you might be the only one who can help her." he tells me and I give a sigh of relief.

"I don't get it. What's wrong with her besides the obvious?" I ask him. I needed more detail. I had resisted the urge to call and find out, but now it was too much. "Tell me how she is. How she's been"

"The doctor took her breathing and feeding tube out. Her throat is healed enough that she can eat soft food, mostly smoothy type drinks but she's refusing to eat. She just lies there, the only difference from when she was in her coma is that her eyes are open now." he tells me and I shudder at the image that comes in to my head.

"She's no better than a vegetable, it's terrible. I've never see anyone so...so broken...as her. She needs you, Paul" he says to me, sounding close to desperate while his eyes plead with me. I know he doesn't want to make it an alpha order, that he wants me to come on my own free will and in the end that is what I do.

When I see her, she's just as bad as Sam says, but it hits me like two tons of bricks coming down on my head. She lying there just like all the other times, a few little splotches of blood here and there seeping through her bandages. Her chest rises and falls with her breathing, deep and even as her brown eyes stare up at the ceiling, lifeless and cold. Her body is the same. Frigid and stiff, holding little warmth. It reminds me of a vampire and a growl rumbles through me before Sam puts a hand on my shoulder.

"What do I do?" I ask, helpless as to where to go now that I am here.

"Just sit with her, Paul, maybe hold her hand and give her a little warmth." Sam suggests.

With a deep breath I take his advice, moving across the room, taking the seat beside her bed and with tremble to my hands I slip my fingers under her palm. I start to feel that ache again in my bones, my knuckles throbbing with a pleasurable sensation. I put my other hand underneath hers so that her thin, bony white hand is sandwiched between my calloused tan ones. She's white as milk against my skin and my mouth suddenly feels very dry while my eyes start to water.

"How can I feel this sad, this lonely, when I don't even _know _her?" I ask him, my voice starting to crack and I just wish that she would turn her head and look at me.

"But your soul knows her. She is your equal in spiritual likeness, two parts of one whole. You just need to take the time to let the _man _get to know her, let the person you are find the similarities and balance." he tells me, wise as ever. "Sadly for you, it's going to take a very long time, and a lot of support before you can get anywhere. The fact remains, Paul, that you are the only person who can possibly heal Bella where she truly needs to be healed. Her heart" and then Sam was gone, leaving us alone.

"Wonder if you can even hear me. Your eyes are open, but your not really there behind them." I talk to her absently, not knowing what else to do to help her as I keep her hand between my own. "You remind me of this bird I found when I was a kid; it had broken both of it's wings and it would eat or drink, as if life wasn't worth living if it couldn't fly in the sky. I tried to take care of it, but it didn't matter as long as it didn't want to live. It died before it's wings could ever heal"

"Please, Birdie, don't give up like it did. Let me help you, let me heal your broken wings so you can fly again" I begged her, ashamed by how pathetic I sounded. This wasn't like me, but I did want her to get better, I really did. Once again I was at a lost for words, so I just sat there, as helpless as she before resting my head on the bed next to our enveloped hands, playing with her fingers and trying to thaw the cold from them.

I didn't even sense her move, until I felt her hand on my head, her fingers through my hair. When I looked up she was still staring at the ceiling but something inside of her recognized me, and physically reached out to me. It made me happy, like a dog getting his belly rubbed. I was pathetic, I knew, but I've never felt calmer than now under her touch. So I kept my head rested on the bed, her hand laid motionless on top of my head, my hair poking out through the spaces between her fingers.

I stayed there until I fell asleep, it was Charlie Swan who woke me up when he came to visit. He looked exhausted, as if he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep for an entire week. Which he probably hadn't with his daughter in the hospital and his bitch of an ex-wife always on his ass. Sorry, I know Swan was my imprint, but if I just wasn't a big fan of her mother at the moment with the shit she was giving the chief.

"Her hand, it was on you head...she moved?" he asked me, looking stunned and ready to cry.

"Yea" I answered swallowing as I moved to stand. I didn't want to let go of her hand, but I knew I had to. It was her dads time with her.

"I don't think she's done more than blink since she woke up. The doctor says she's catatonic. That the shock of the him leaving and being attacked by that lion was too much for her to handle. She just receded in to herself." he explained, taking a seat in one of the chairs near the door instead of the one I was about to remove myself from so I sat back down.

"I don't what to do. Her heart is still beating, but the rest of her is just...dead. Her brain functions properly, her breathing in normal but she just isn't there. My daughter is gone." Oh fuck he starting to cry! What the hell do I do?

"No she isn't. She's still here. You just cant give up on her, she'll come around, I just know it. As her father your not _allowed _to give up on her, especially now" I told him, surprising him and myself with my outburst.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you like that. It's wasn't my place to say-"  
"No, you were right." Charlie told me, his eyes staring holes in to his shoes.

"I'm scared of how she'll be after she comes out of this...zombie state...I don't think she will ever be the same again, and it terrifies me to think that the girl who's going to come out of this wont be my daughter anymore" he said after a while of silence.

"_No one_ could go through what she did and come out the same person...but that doesn't make her any less your daughter." I told him, my eyes on the girl in the bed.

"I remember you" shit! He's probably going to kick me out of the room now, tell me to never come and see his daughter again.

"I picked you up a few times, for underage drinking and public indecency. You've seemed to come a long way, haven't heard any complaints about you. You turned yourself around, heard your helping out around the rez with those other boys. And now...your watching over my girl better than me and you don't even know her"

"It's not about knowing her, it's about what's right. For a long time I had no idea what the right thing was." I had no idea why the hell I was telling him this, but I was.

"Your not a bad kid, you just had a lot of bad things happen to you, when you were too young. Your parents they-"  
"Don't...Please, just don't bring them up" I asked, feeling a pang in my chest that I tried to keep buried down inside of me with my memories of them.

"Sorry"

A silence fell then between us. It was awkward and uncomfortable, but I felt it would be even more so if either of us actually tried conversing with each other again. Soon enough I thought it was best that I left and gave Chief Swan time with his daughter.

"I should get going" I said, standing and laying Swans hand down on her stomach, my fingers slipping out from where I had tangled them in her other hand.

"Thank you" the Chief stands and pats my shoulder, taking my chair and Bella's hand. Smiling I leave the hospital with a sense of relief and a lighter feeling now that I've seen Bella.

_TBC_


End file.
